More Room To Think

Despite some history as I've known it and my own opinions with $ = power, I still have my own understanding of the extents of $ = power. I am making a decent amount of money at my new job and plan more for what I'll be doing in the future from 3-6-12 months from now. Mush, mush, mush on saving money. I have had a few hints that someone is making some other plans in the future, but there is not a complete trust. Even if there is a kinder tyranny; I'm skeptical with the whispered hints. There are definitely several big things to saving money on, but when it comes to moving and Mitzi and I getting a place of our own is something I'm going to have to wait out for now. Depending on the level of tyranny vs. my own efforts towards opportunity, will I be able to transfer with the job I have now or find a different job in a different area? What if I get cursed and damned back into unemployment? Hell to raise.
As a crafter, I am deciding to call it quits for now with Spring/Summer crafting. I give up. Maybe 2-3 years from now, I will invest in thinking and creating new ideas that may sell better, but for now, I give up. The time will be spent somewhere else.
I wish I would have been able to run the Iron Furnace this weekend, but there is too much going on and it wasn't going to work out. I'll have to go for some other races later. It has been a couple of weeks since I have done some practice runs. Because of staying on my feet at all times while on the job, I'm not stressing too much over staying active.
I hate it when I have a brain fart. I invested in a 25.00 bond when I was instead intending to save it in a different way. I had another brain fart earlier this week that could be a little compared to turrets syndrome but I decided to call it repressed anger instead. I'm not being too serious with the psychology of it all.
I have thoughts on my mind right now with As The Sarah Turns while As The World Turns goes on. I'm not saying a lot for now. I am both patient and impatient in my own complicated way. I hate the anxiety on both ends of being patient and impatient. Sometimes, I wish I had all the time in the world. Other times, it seems like time sneaks up on me and what a killer it can be. Other times, I feel the need to rush rush rush.

Do you want my 2cents?

Haha. I thought it was funny. Really. Yes, it takes a cold-hearted cold-handed dead killer to kill. In some brainstorms, I'd rather keep a complex. I'll never agree that it would be ok for an intruder to intrude in my property and expect to sue me from accidental ankle break all the way to me possibly doing some more serious injury from some sort of weapon. Self- defense is self defense. Especially when it comes to an intruder and your own life could be at risk? Yes. I know your posts have been about schools and everything, but from the start, I'm keeping my complex. Furthering my complex, in most cases, I wouldn't be likely to judge the reaction of the person who is being intruded. Even if they do the total opposite like crying to the intruder's face and being their instant victim. If I had my own place and a man around the house, I would be most likely expecting him to have some self-defense techniques. I don't need a tough man contest or body building champ winner though. no.
I do yoga sometimes too. I'm not entirely into the religions of yoga, but I appreciate my own peaceful atmosphere.
I know you have a comedic personality. But not everyone has that same personality. Some people like to be taken seriously and have their limits. It isn't fair for stalkers, psychopaths, and harassers to get away with some hate, psycho, terrorizing, god-complex, or just simply insane crimes. It isn't right. With your comedic personality, your entertaining could probably get you just about through any situation. (I hope that doesn't provoke the psychos who would play the daredevil in testing you in your entertainment and comedy.)
Not sure what was going on in your world, but I'm not minding the news today. I hate that I can't remember everything in the past. I feel the need to be updated with past info.

Random Thoughts

Busy Busy Busy

Relieved to get some of my to do stuff out of the way, but I still have a long list of things to get done.... I have adjusted some to having less time to get things done, but still get anxious where I feel I'm not getting enough things done.

I finally got around to advertising for etsy. There were more things I had planned posting on there, but will just have to wait to post later. The advertising can't wait much longer. Hopefully this advertising experiment will work a little better. I have a lot of my personal crafting to get finished. I had finished knitting a purse but not finished in working on its structure. I have to work on it a little more for it to be the purse I want it to be. Socks are another thing I need to finish. I have been wanting to do some tops as well that I had originally planned to finish last year and still have yet to get around. So many ideas to complete in the knitting dept. I'm eventually going to get around to working on my gourds. I'm excited to try a few other crafting experiments but they are still in the process. Although I have yet to sell any shot glasses; I don't want to give up on them. I liked the idea of it. I liked the convenience of it. I thought it would be one of those types of products that would be easy to sell as gifts or just for the fun of it. I'll probably make just two more sets until they do start to sell. Supply and demand.

I was happy to get out last night. Some bar scenes will never be the same again and some bars I'm just not going to be comfortable in being there. I like having one or two regular bars to hang out at. Some bars are less pressuring or at angst than others. The bar I was at last night wasn't really too bad. I like they have a multiple computer game when I get too bored. Of course I liked the alcohol most of all. I'm not really big on basketball but I was happy when Indiana beat the Heat. Some competitions I've never counted as much to begin with. I don't like giving too much of a cheer for a team I would prefer to win because I don't like the idea of what winning means to some people. Also, the fact that a game is just a game. It is something to sometimes be able to be entertained at random places.

In other thoughts, I already foresee the living paycheck to paycheck torment this month. There is so much I need and the tight budget that I have is already too tight. I hope next month will be much better after I get some financial spending out of the way and caught up on the things that I need and have to have. I finally got around to getting a haircut. Woo hoo. One other random thought; I'm so happy that Mitzi is now a crawler!!!!!!!

Here are some Spritely Finessed self-advertising pics:

Christmas Cheese

Still early in the day on this holiday..........
With a list of different reasons to rate the holiday this year, I'd say Christmas is ok this year. The most positive end is that I am mostly satisfied in giving to Mitzi. There are several things I wish were different. There is one present that will be a belated gift, but I am mostly satisfied. I didn't get everything I wanted. Some of the gifts were neat or unexpected. I got a few things for my crafting business and one eccentric gift was an antique sewing machine. There really are not a lot of things that I need. I have enough clothes. It is just the larger investments that I need. There are a few smaller ones for now as well. But this year will be more possible to have a significant amount of money saved, even more if I can find the right job. While it isn't quite New Years, there are several things that I'm going to stick with and one of them is running marathons. This year the actual goal is going to be running the whole 5K without walking. I did get some compliments this year on my physique. While it feels good to have a decently slim figure, running has its own way of making me feel good as well.
This holiday felt a little lonely. I am happy with Mitzi and while I adore her baby days, I can't wait for the future Christmas' and hope that each and every one we will be financially well enough to enjoy Christmas every year.
My birthday is this Saturday. It will be my last year before turning 30. Oh my oh my oh my. life. life. life. time. time. time..........tick tock tick tock tick tock...........
I bought Mitzi some maracca's this year. I couldn't help but sing Feliz Navidad because of it......

http://youtu.be/ihW56Xa3XGQ

Just Random Thoughts

I have been still getting ready for some marathons next year. At the gym, I can almost run a complete 3 mile run. Almost. I have to walk some because my sides hurt too much. I never claimed to be a professional runner. My goal next season will be to run an entire 5k marathon without walking at all. I already know treadmills are a much different story than actual turf. Some turf includes hills. There were a few other factors that I did a running/walking combination including the weather at the marathons this past year. Anyway, my main goal next year is to be able to do a full 5k without walking. After that, it will be about the actual amount of time. I should be able to sign up for more to run as well. I hope QCS picks the same gym for next year's membership.
Holiday season. This is going to be a new change to attend family gatherings for obvious reasons. I may eventually have more of a 2cents, but for now, I'm not going to say much about meeting up with family. I am excited for Christmas. I can't wait to go shopping for Mitzi and plan out some things.
Mitzi's father was in town last week when we got the child support out of the way..... He wants to be part of her life and will be seeing her more occassionaly. It is good news and bad news. I like the idea of having a mommy break for my "me time." He isn't completely on my good side yet with trust issues............ Clash of feelings.
There have been random things in the news that I have noticed that I'm not going to say much about for now.
There is so much free time that I have. I'm still waiting for a job offer, but still plenty of things to do in my free time. More crafts to make; things to knit; things to read; netflix movies to watch; things to think about and plan. I may eventually get so bored again that I may eventually write about netflix movies. So much to do, so little time, even when there are no festival deadlines.
I hate the small area that I live in. I was hoping that care.com would be working out better, but there really are not a whole lot of babysitting opportunities in the area. I remember when I was at ORU that there were several wingmates or just other women at the school that had something similar to care.com as a part time job. There was always a babysitting offer. They were the ones who got to be choosy on ends of supply and demand. Oh well. Hopefully, I will eventually find a job. No other thoughts for now......

Thoughts of the day

What a week. Selling crafts is still on my mind. Busy month. I'm probably going to the flea market tmw to sell some stuff and still try to get rid of a bunch of books and pillows. When I need $, I need $. In saying that, I might as well spontaneously find a strip club out of town. (of course there is no comparison) It is more work for that, and it isn't a move I'm going to make yet. Regardless of the agendas of competitive hooker hearts, it really is a big deal to consider making a move to be a stripper. I havn't given myself a deadline and have already had it in my head to wait until November to look for jobs...................
Mitzi and I got our pictures taken this week. A couple of weeks to get them in but I am very happy about it. Right now, there really are not a lot of people in my life to share them with. Still, I do plan on eventually putting together our own scrap book album and a baby picture is still a baby picture for years to come and the day I can have my own nest to decorate my pics. I still see the past years of my life as tragedy and living through unjustified corruption. I still don't know what the future holds. I don't think too much about the newest Carrie Underwood song. Music is still just music but some songs I've been listening to are still good self-pep talks.
I got a good workout today. I'm loving this new gym I'm trying out. I'll probably keep going and just keep taking advantage of the QCS membership I have and coast off of that. I get a free 2-week trial anyway. If I would have known, I would have waited longer until the craft season was over, but I'm going to get some extra free time in as much as I can. Because of the QCS, I feel a little welcome, but it is one of the nicer and more costly gyms. It could be compared to the gym at ORU, but the setting and clientele are different. Until my life is financially better; I feel slightly out of place. 
Busy busy busy

Safety First

Dear Jon,

Once again there are several things thrown out there which leave me to not know what to believe about you. I could try to go on a goose chase, but being the poor vulnerable adult and you being the typical BSr, I am most likely not going to get anywhere. So, despite whatever is going on with you, I'm just going to put my 2 cents in anyway........
I'll play along with one idea for now and act as if you were being seriously serious. Have you not already grown on me? ...... With one thought, I will let you play the guessing games with how dependent and needy that I am with you. With another thought, I think it is possible you could be the typical macho man competing with both players and polygamists because maybe you think there is more to this than meets the eye. With one thought and statement that I have made before, ~if I give a piece of candy to one person, than I have to give a piece of candy to everyone~ I said that in relation to women who either want to mother or have some sort of lesbian/bisexual relationship. I would say the same thing to polygamist men. That would really make me an upsidedown polygamist where I am the polygamist or even swinger who gets away with being a swinger. If I was forced to either go for polygamy or bisexuality; I would probably go for polygamy. Jon, seriously, I don't know what your whole relationship philosophies are and why there are certain times and points where you think some people should choose to be bisexual, but I really wish that you would respect that I am a mostly straight woman who wants to be straight. Nothing in offense to Angelina or Penelope, but I feel most comfortable as a straight woman. As a straight woman with a bisexual man? I may write a blog on that eventually, but it isn't the subject in this letter................
Right now, if you are seriously serious, I feel I am forced to either be a swinger or subjected concubine. My heart breaks in such severe ways with both. I don't feel the same with either swinger or subjected concubine, but neither take away the pain in my heart.
You hate me and test me in so many ways, it is hard to say what you are trying to prove anymore. Will you please try harder to avoid hurting me and hating me anymore? Will you please try????