Saturday, August 24, 2013

Dear Jared

Boy do I feel like an ass. I had no clue the VMA's were on tonight. I'm surprised to see you back in my life. I don't even remember why or how we forgot each other. It seems you may have had your eye on me a while, but I couldn't remember the how or why. I can't think of a reason to ignore you or try to shout you off right now. I hope you don't give me one. I know MTV usually shows repeats of their shows. Although there are a lot of artists that I don't care to watch; I would care to watch for you. A bit of fan cheese for you, If you don't win any awards, you're still a winner! "winning." Hmph. I am seeing some signs in your arbitrage. I do and don't feel the need to comment. Because it isn't a said question and that I'm not taking the pressure too seriously, I'm not going to elaborate on my view point a whole lot right now. I know what I know I said several years ago, and if there were some architect out there to revolve around that answer and obsess over my life to be put to the test to be a prostitute, I really think that someone should notice the real failure in the architect to rig my life and think their tests are qualified and of logic. If my imagination were real in that assumption, it spells out: psycho stalker who gets away with psychotic tyranny. This isn't my thought of the actual prostitution, but a little bit of an assumption. "The hunter who just didn't get it." Not a 100% sure if you are the hunter. I used to make fun of an old boyfriend who spent no time with me at all or even in getting to know me and just spend time stalking or judging me. How could he have blamed me for my actions over anything? I really hate how defensive I sound. I just know I've been buried alive too much and don't even know half of the things I've been buried under. Less talk of me and more of you. I hope you win tonight, and if so I don't mind to hear you talk about it. I feel like an ass for not getting your cd yet. Life has been crappy povertous damnation due to some tyranny. Words cannot express the anger and sadness I have for myself. I just got myself this laptop a week ago. Not intending to put you on the spot or embarrass you unless you are responsible. You don't come off as the bad guy. This is why I am writing a blog and not all over your page. I'm not wanting to rob your center of attention right now. I havn't wanted to make a competition out of it. I don't mind you being center of attention. Mitzi is the priority. I don't know if you have seen pics of her yet or not, but I can eventually post more. I'm not the digital person I used to be. Which songs are your favorite songs? What makes you feel alive or lively? (not always a safe question for anyone anymore; I've caught on to predator traps and life killers over the years) (I also know I'm not being your predator) Just wanted you to know even if we're foreign to each other, that I still have some care for you. I hope you are well. I wouldn't mind getting closer to you. Sure to see from you soon.