Tell You What....

You turn me on so much and I feel like I can just melt and die at times and I know I am still in my same paranormal dilemma. Your possessiveness does not have me angry yet and I would rather you be a rough possessive man rather than some kind of competitive narc. Your possessiveness still isn't fair. I would like to say I'm yours but I'm impatient. Maybe you fear me being taken or snatched from you by another guy, and in my honesty, I fear you being taken too. I worry about being played some but you already have the marriage vice on me, so I'm not in that state of mind as I normally can be. If you are lying for the nookie; I'd rather you find some other strategy or just be straight forward. You shouldn't mess with a woman's emotions like that. I still won't say I'm officially bonified with you, but the marriage vice is your vice. I'm tired, fragile, impatient, and have a good bit of hopelessness. You keep having periods of mentally grasping me and keeping me so seduced in the head. You keep bringing me back to life with your "quell electrode" seduction or whatever those things are technically called. I'm telling you though, it happens all the time and my impatience makes my will to care fade. What are you waiting on Cisco? Are you waiting for me to say something? For me to change in some way? Are you waiting for something from someone else? What are you waiting for? Right now, I'm glad I can ask you in a kinder way, but I'm not understanding why our connection has to be this way? Why are we in the paranormal like this? I know I feel threatened with your possessiveness and your "if I dare cheat" vice (and it feels so good) but if the distance and paranormal remains the same; I will eventually take the risk of an injury, hurt, or pain if you do force me to suffer some consequences of cheating. I have been thinking of getting back on "flirt for free" with some of the free time I have in the past few days but I just can't do it right now. I probably will eventually have a one night stand or finally get a membership on some dating site finally checked off on my to do list. I probably will eventually cheat in some way or another, but don't know when my breaking point will be.... I plan on going to the game on labor day. Unless I see some kind of threat or sign to not go at all, I'll probably change my mind. I know it is impossible for you to personally meet me in the stadium, but I will show up to a game just for you. I knew you would get me hooked harder when I first started to yell at you with the way you were wanting to keep me and have been keeping me, but I'm fragile and don't want my heart to break because I get led on and let down yet again. I need you to understand that although I care for you, I have lived through the same impatient story too much and can only wait for something to happen. I can't have a relationship in just the paranormal. I need you literally and physically in my life and if there is something you are intentionally waiting for, you should know whatever it is you are waiting for.