Sunday, October 12, 2014

Done and Did

Whew. The crafting season is done and did. There may be 1 or 2 smaller shows that I may do, but I feel exhausted for the rest of the year. Although I had a year of record breaking sales; I can't believe I didn't sell any cowells. For 2 years they sold so well, and this year, nobody has purchased any. The short ones were sold, but the infinity ones weren't. They were even decently priced. I thought too cheap. With the rest of the stuff; I sure do have an inventory to catch up on and spend the rest of the year until next season to do so. I am taking a break for awhile as usual. I am FINALLY going to be able to get a new car soon. I can't wait. I've been thinking about it for a long time and I can finally afford one. I don't know what kind of car yet, just whatever tickles my fancy enough. ........... and then save and then travel and then save and spend for what I save for................. I am tired at the end of the day. There is so much going through my mind and on my mind. ......... I really don't know what to do or say anymore right now with someone. I'm still in question to be convinced of something and waiting. ........ exhausted. goodnight.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Random Thoughts

Busy week and it is not over yet. I am so happy that I was able to fit a marathon in my schedule finally. I knew I could do the real thing without the treadmill. I was happy for my time too. I didn't break my own record with what I usually do on the treadmill, but it was still something to brag about with going up a couple of hills. I even had to stop and walk a little and my time was still that good. I'm so happy about it. I have gotten a lot done this week, but still have a lot left to do. I am happy that I have recently been making a little more bank, but am broke for the next day or two. I have been trying to hold up on getting a little too shopper happy, but I didn't make it through this weekend without going too broke..... hmph. oh well, it will be alright when Monday comes around. ..... I've been thinking about going out tonight but havn't decided. It has been such a busy week, and I am already pooped. Relaxing sounds so good too. Too bad there is hardly anything on tv to watch. I can see myself relaxing with a piece of cake and/or ice cream too. I can't knit though. The pinky finger is a required knitting finger, and I have had too bad of a cut to be able to knit. It is healing too slowly and this frustrates me. I just don't know what I'm going to do, and it will be a win win either way.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Random Thoughts

I am glad the weather is going to be better in the next few days. Although I am a little hung over, I'm going to try to get a simple walk in today. I'll probably push myself to run a little more in the next day or 2 with the perfect 70 degree weather. I have got to be ready for a marathon...... Man drama. hmmmmm. A few guys are keeping me guessing and wondering. I saw Travis this weekend. As usual, there was no conversation. We glanced at each other but there was no real greeting or talk. Besides his buddies, he looked like he was with some random blond chick............ I also hung out with another guy. It was nice of him to invite me to a pig roast that was going on. Of course, I still didn't eat any pig. I took a picture of it though. It wasn't the visual I had imagined. The chunks were already chopped and it was fried, not roasted. I wasn't eating, and it was whatever works for them anyway................... I finally got around to watching a Carrot Top comedy show. I didn't realize how much of his comedy was about inventions. I saw his actual movie that he made, but in his real shows, he uses his own inventions in his acts. There were a few scenes that I thought were pretty disturbing. Sometimes, I noticed he had similar facial expressions as Jon Stewart. I still refuse to have any involvement/association with Jon, but I think it is possible that Carrot Top could have hooked up with him at one time or another. Besides that, there was too much gayness in it. I did have to laugh at some of his sketches though. I think the drunken airplane pilot was probably the funniest. Carrot Top has some sexiness but some of his facial expressions were a little too perverse.........There are a couple of other guys that have stayed on my mind and have kept me guessing. My glasses aren't rose colored and I'm pretty skeptical of the 2 or 3. I'm still curious to find out more about them. ........ Ho Hum............ I wonder what I am going to do the rest of the day. ..........

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Dear Rahm

I really did have an impression that you are a more talkative man. I guess I'm the talker who has some quiet company......... This weekend was alright. I had a little bit of fun. If you were with me last night, you probably would have found me annoying. There is this song the bands play all of the time, "Rock Me Mamma," and I sung along with it last night, "Hey Rahmy rock me." Rock me Rahma. lol. Not that I see you as a woman; it is just nice to find some kind of relief in safety. Someone sees things my way with the truth. While you may not have completely rescued me from "Planet of the Apes," you bring some comfort in my life..... I found a good looking guy to dance with a little last night, but he eventually left and did his own thing. Oh well. Saw a few other guys, but nothing really happened. It wasn't a bad night though. I'm still in a job search process..... While I don't see all employment opportunities as terrorizing, I could definitely say I see some as being terrorizing. Most of it is on job boards. Sometimes on the internet and even the local paper. There are several types of terrorizing suggestions. It is just that how could some people not see who is getting violent and harassing like that? How could some things like that be overlooked? Some jobs are not as obvious. Others, it is like I have been getting followed the whole time and someone is out to try to stay on top of me to keep me terrorized. Sometimes it is a similar job where things are worded in such ways where I know I am being stalked. It is kind of like the stalker is trying to say: "I dare you to keep applying for the same type of job." In most cases I feel like the stalker ultimately wants to say: "Yes, you are nothing but unqualified and have a learning disability." I have received those threats in the mail sometimes to apply for Social Security and make that my income for life. Do you want to talk about a hateful death threat or what? I know I'm not always being watched out for, but to me, I just keep thinking: How could people keep overlooking the way I'm getting judged and harassed? How could people not notice some things? I see it as either an entity or violent stalker who I still don't know and who gets away with such violently serious threats against me. I hate their guts Rahm. I hate the way their misogyny and jealousy doesn't get noticed. I would also hate the people who would put their trust in whoever this stalker or entity of stalkers are. I hate this town's structure. I hate how over-underestimated I am and the way people intentionally never notice how violently hated I am or how much even they personally hate me........... Finding a job really is everything and the most important thing right now. Unless the day ever happens when I find a wealthy man who loves me and wants to be my provider, that is the way it has always been. I just don't get why this has been such a long hold-up. I hate the way people dare to keep insulting me in such an indefinite, damning way and expecting me to be sold on their hatred. I know I'm too good for their judgment and hatred. One of the only things to look forward to this upcoming week is the nice weather for the next 3 days. I can't wait to take Mitzi on a walk.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014


You feel like the safest right now and I can't help but be needy of you. I have some skepticism, but any time I feel I have a chance of rest or safety, I just try for it. I'm not going to make it on my Canadian trip. My bags were packed and ready, but I got violently sick. I think I got it from Mitzi. Thank goodness Mitzi's sickness wasn't as bad as mine. I'm so upset though. I was really looking forward to this getaway, and now I have to just wait it out for a later time. I didn't get a full refund back, but I at least got half of it back. I'm going to do some online shopping today anyway. But I won't have the thrill of the waterpark or clubs. I really don't know what all to think of you right now Rahm. I remember the last time you were in my life, I had some kind of panic attack, but I can't remember what it was all about or why I was so upset. It had more to do than your boyfriend and other girlfriends, but I just don't remember what my panic attack was............... I like that you seem to be on my side by seeing things my way with how murderous people are. I've always referred to it as damning. But when a group lives to gang up on and damn a person so many times in so many ways, it is murderous. I know I have been threatened and have had my life threatened in different kinds of degrees before besides having my survival threatened. Sometimes to me, it just doesn't seem that people get what they are or what their actions are, or just how seriously wrong their corruption is. How could people seriously feel that they win? You have me a little dizzy now Rahm, but I hope your day goes well and I hope you continue to support me in surviving. muah.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Random Thoughts

Right now, life is way too hectic. I was able to give myself a little relief today, but there are still tons of things left on my list to do. I have to return an item that I got for Mitzi. I hate doing returns. So many little things in doing the work to return when ordering online and shipping. I have to contact the company and exchange for a different size, print all the printing stuff, and deal with the post office. That is the main downfall of online shopping. I'm a little anxious over a few money matters and finding a job, but I'm not going to get too worked up for now......... I haven't felt well today and this makes me unhappy. I have things to do, but I just feel sluggish. I didn't even feel like writing this blog. I find in my sluggish and unwell times, I feel a little better if I force myself to get more things done. Sometimes, I make myself sicker if I don't stay sluggish. nauseous, headache, earache kind of thing. I also don't know how I want to spend some of my time.......... I've been getting more ready for Canada and am getting excited more. Right now, I think the dangerous thing to avoid is getting caught up in between the drama of the US and Canadian hockey teams. Man, I would hate being pushed on someone or someone pushing themselves on me and I would have to make some sort of preferential decision. Right now, I have no comment on either of the hockey teams. Whatever their real drama was, I don't want to know. Endless Mars dominos if I were to get involved. Sometimes to know something about a person or what was said, it always leads to more directions of the who, the what, the time, what happened, and what happened first. If there was a person who shoved me under that bus, I would hate the person who did. I have my mind set on the shopping, and going to the waterpark for the shits and giggles of it. Oh, maybe for my own personal prideful strut too. What would be cool, is if they allowed alcohol in the waterpark, and I could be sitting in a Jacuzzi with a good buzz going on. I don't think I would be bringing it into the wave pool unless it were allowed, but it would be cool to have a buzz while I'm riding the waves on my inner tube. So many bars and restaurants in this mall that I could get a buzz before I got in. I've got to find out more about the main dancing night club and other night clubs. It was just so cool to find out about a few of them. I saw some sights I could see, but I'm not sure what other tourism I'm going to decide on other than the mall, clubs, and water park. I wish I could be in Canada for another day, but maybe I'll be able to afford another trip later in the future........... I need to get my mind on this other craft fair coming up. I should have had more things finished by now, but I'm not mushing enough. I still have a good enough amount of time.