Thursday, November 28, 2013

Random Thoughts

Thanksgiving...... I will be thankful for the actual dinner. I think the typical Thanksgiving food is some of the best food. Stuffing, sweet potato casserole, Turkey, Pumpkin pie. I am doing another modeling stunt and doing it for Better Homes and Gardens. lol. Yes and no seriously. I am going to make a non-alcohol holiday beverage. I can't make up my mind what I want to call it. Cranberry bubble cocktail or Cranberry fruit spritz. I'm being all artsy about it too. Ice cubes with cranberrys in them along with frozen cranberries. This is going to be completely all of my own recipe. I had such a difficult time in making up my mind with some things, but I found stuff to put together that gives me a peace of mind enough. I'm also making sweet potato casserole. It is just fun to make my own creations sometimes. I could see myself creating an alcohol version too, but not everyone drinks alcohol, esp. kids. Have to make something for everyone. Shopping. I feel so killed anymore when withdrawing more money from my savings. When I look online through my own picks, it feels much more painless with the fashion quality and the deals that I find.... Decisions decisions. I feel I should wait until I save more to spend, but with this being the best shopping time of the year, it is just too difficult to not spend. I also need to get myself a coat yet. I'm not going out on Black Friday this year. I just don't feel like waiting in the lines. I already found several good bargain buys and only need to just get a few more things. With just a few more things, I think I'll get those at another time.......

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Letter to Joel

I know you have a big name and a lot going on in your life right now. It blesses my heart that a person like you has an abundant life. I have a complicated walk of Christianity. While I do not wish for accountability or another totalitarian in my life, I want you to know you are a person I would put my confidence in when it comes to trust and faith. I do not know the real potential of help you could tangibly give to several of my SOS's in life. I think you could have a clue to some things going on, and to have someone who has some agreeableness of faith in my life really means a lot for me. I have had a long waiting for my expectations of faith to be fulfilled. I know it looks like I have given up to some people. I am a person who lives to prove nothing to some certain types of people. I have a complicated walk of faith for the things people have never understood. I know you understand the fight of faith and some days it is easier than other days to have faith. When I have been in a long time of waiting the days get more and more difficult. There are some things I have said that I just can't or won't take back. It is the way you have lived to be an inspiration that I would have a hard time knowing I could be a severe disappointment as a partner of faith. Besides just you as a leader, there could be other potential leaders out there that I would hope has a very open-minded sense of survival. I understand leaders of Faith have different callings. I think you live up to your inspirational calling well. I've actually thought about one of your quotes in my own head and have come to my own conclusion that I may blog about later. It is just a rabbit trail for now. Anyway, there are certain instances where I believe it takes more than just inspiration to make life work. I do not want to put any uncomfortable pressure on you or make that statement sound like something that it is not. I also think it takes more than "accountability" or totalitarianism to make life work. It isn't that I see you as a failure; I understand you have a main focus of your calling. You are not a person who has disappointed me at all, and I hope you stay the same you and never disappoint me in this lifetime. I have a lot of stalkers and control freaks and I want you to know you are a person I have some confidence in to trust and be a partner of faith.