Sunday, April 2, 2017

Random Thoughts and my own two cents

I'm so excited for my spring and summer craft season this year. I'm anxious to get some things done I've yet to finish doing because I have to wait it out a little, but I am quite optimistic. I was so upset yesterday because I messed up with two of my gourds. While I accidentally dropped one of my gourds, I never thought gourds were fragile and breakable. I was able to super glue it back together, but I'm no longer going to put it up for sale because you can tell it broke and was glued back together. I gave it to my mom. lol. With my other gourd, I wasn't following directions enough with my sealer finish and didn't realize that I had to shake the can for an entire minute before spraying it on my gourd. It had a terrible chemical reaction to the paint. At first, I treated it as an entire ruin and was so upset at not just the waste of money but waste of time. I painted a different design over it and it all worked out. It is an expensive and timely mistake to have screw ups with some of my crafts. It isn't as cheap as scribbled paper. I'm still looking into a few different locations and waiting back for my picks. I'm not sure how many I will be able to do yet. I'm not sure if I will be able to do them all but as many as I can.... I seldom talk about some of my own two cents with people. I don't like to come across as being preachy or too boringly opinionated. Most people have opinions about something, but even I don't always like to hear people rambling about some of their opinions. I see myself as being in my own unique situation, but I'm sure I'm not the only Bollywood woman alive. I hate Bollywood and the way it works. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. There is too much gossip and here say and no real talk. I never know where half of the gossip comes from. People seriously expect me to buy into too much of it. I sometimes will question some talk, or conversate with some talk, but I more so hate feeling overpowered by it, or further enabling the Bollywood gossip and here say. I don't always read all the articles either and even the ones I do post. Sometimes, the title or face value of a message is usually all the time I have for. Anyway, this is part of fueling my fire: .... Some gossip is heavy, overpowering, and I am sometimes forced to believe in it. Where does it all really come from though? It's like some people don't want to understand enough that I really do not know where this comes from. How could some people expect me to be so easy with Bollywood and keep the given value of a person to person conversation so overlooked? How could people not want to understand how much more of a person to person reality is that much more of a matter? Yet, people not only want to just bullshit with some Bollywood, they seriously expect you to buy into it more and be more of a sellout for it. I know there are people who want to be in control of the drama. I have been so mad at the control a person has to have over any relationships and drama and whatever right they think they have with either the drama or the agenda. I don't even know who I am talking to half of the time. I have always had no other choice to make Bollywood and the relationships in Bollywood a joke. I make more of a joke out of it sometimes more than others and will take some of it seriously or to heart sometimes, but Bollywood still lacks so much of a real felt reality. This is my two cent personal rant, whoever I could be referring to at any time. It's the same with any Bollywood man. ............... Speaking of gossip and Bollywood was that baseball sign a real sign from my latest Bollywood boyfriend? Once again, I hate the way I feel the enabler to the gossip but maybe someone is keeping Jon's or my other "robots" gossip/rumors/lies out-ratted. Seriously not sure what to believe about the picture. It wasn't a good sign for him to look ungrateful. I felt smitten and hopeless before the sign and am still smitten. I'm just feeling my same Bollywood despair. I'm happy, but I'm not happy, because he is still another Bollywood situation that will most likely go nowhere. Sometimes I let myself feel some kind of comfort and satisfaction of some company, but it is just not comforting or satisfying enough. Is it better for me to feel more alone? Right now, I'm more passive about it than fighting to be alone, but I may eventually give up on the Bollywood more. It really is the Bollywood, ..., it really is the Bollywood. I'm still hesitant to say his name, but I can't think of a nickname for now. I just want him to know it isn't that I don't care about him. I care for you xo...until then....

No comments:

Post a Comment